Its been an adventurous but tough journey so far. We have been trying to have 5 kids at home enabling them to learn the right way to live and helping them to learn on their own. We started with a big bang a month ago. Having seen a few other brave souls enable education at home for their children we had all the theory in place....it just needed to be put into practice. I am still a little raw from the wounds of the experience but having gotten over the initial euphoria and then depression now I can truly say our boat is set in the right direction at least. Its going to take years before we actually realise the full impact of what we are attempting to do.

The first week we made merry. Children were affably told, "Go ahead! Do what you wish to. Take up any activity of your liking and follow your instincts and learn." They were not used to this. Trained to obey and follow instructions, they dutifully went about selecting their work. A few skirmishes with the younger kids happened, especially with Maths with the kids saying, "Our school never taught us to do things like this. " etc. etc. After the initial phase, they realised they were actually free to do things and they went berserk! Every day was lined up for craft and art work, science experiments, play and story telling. It brought out a lot of creative stuff with a beautiful puppet show with puppets made from waste. Adults backs got bent back dangerously. It was easier to clean than to get the mess cleaned by kids after they had finished work...but no we couldn't do that. We had to enable them to learn to do it themselves. No we couldn't scream, shout or scold them though many a times it was a lovely thought to simply dream of picking a kid up and giving him/her a piece of our mind if not a resounding whack on his/her bottoms. Sometimes the slips did happen and our pressure cooker would blow not just the whistle but the lid off our heads and the spillage always looked ugly. Slowly we learnt, we adults, how to handle these lovely kids. Each was different and needed a different kind of approach. We learnt to voice our hurt without shouting. We all learnt to empathise while we could have different view points. Younger kids who invariably got into a quarrel about every little thing are these days beginning to have "discussions" about their differences. Adults who were used to saying "Do as you are told" are beginning to ask if the "intent" of their request was agreeable to the kids before proceeding to make requests. Nobody finishes a discussion until all members are absolutely satisfied with the outcome. This is a very difficult phase to get into. But beautiful once achieved.

The result of removing terror tactics, bribery, coercion, manipulation, self-centeredness in interactions, results in more peace and higher self esteem for all concerned. The outcome is that nobody is afraid of the other and everybody acts because he or she is so mativated. This process has also resulted in kids beginning to choose their real fields of interest with more interest while they participate in all other activities too.

As an adult learner, I made several mistakes of trying to force without knowing, my schedules, my opinions on the children only to have a slap like reaction to all my efforts. You see the kids by now know they can freely express their views. Murali has helped a lot in making me lose this stance however unconcious it has been, and in starting to "mirror" their feelings and moods and be aware of their needs and ideas all the time. While reading out stories about Shivaji the brave Maratha, my natural instinct was to imbibe in the kids fearlessness and courage. I kept bringing them back to how we could apply such values to our life in a pedagogic way. There was soon a revolt, enough to put Shivaji to shame! Murali later pointed out to me that I had completely missed out on watching out for what interested the kids and my desire to "teach" them fearlessness took complete sway over the whole session! With fingers and feelings still raw from revolt I gave it one more try. This time, I understood the sheer excitement kids feel while listening to stories; how they become the subjects themselves, how they loved telling parallel stories they knew, how they just needed you the story teller to make the correct moves while they had the whole stage to listen, to internalise, to enact, to recollect, to sigh, to tremble and to live in a world of the story in their minds. The last thing they want is a boring lecture on how they should apply lessons to their lives! But I was pleasanlty surprised to find that when one my sessions was over, children who never bothered to do cross references with atlases and dictionaries, were now using them whenever they read on their own. While doing craft when one of their models got squashed by a smaller kid, another kid chipped in with, "Dont feel bad! Do you remember what perimma said this morning from Kipling's poem...we should try and rebuild what we lose"! I was in seventh heaven though Murali says neither should I rejoice so nor should I go down into dumps when things fail...

The older kids started out to be on their own...they are aged 11 and 15. The many books and kits we have make them browse around most times. They love to pitch in and help around the house whenever they feel like having a break. They have also started loosening out and are straying away from doing their "subjects" into trying to read books on nature, and doing things with their hands. Telling them to loosen up took some time. We watched them make schedules and then break them because of not wanting to work but getting confused as there were no adults who could reprimand them for their "apparent lethargy". There was bewilderment that nobody was there to tell them what they needed to do. Our occassional interventions to help were met with rebuff. They had to handle the situation themsleves they felt. Just today they seem to have understood a little of what we really are attempting here. Interestingly this has resulted in their abandoning the study work they had so studiously started with and going a little wild trying to do various other things like spinning thread from cotton, reading books about birds and rivers, browsing through a translation of the Yajur Veda...If they can fully take charge of their lives and enjoy every bit of it, ....I think we would have achieved our mission. More soon...