Its been really hectic since my last blog entry. I am now very sure that I still have a long way to go before I can say I have understood it all! But the experience of the past few days has been a little eerie, sometimes overwhelming, awe-inspiring...I will leave it to the reader to decide I guess.

Our friends from Bhavya, have interacted with us many a time answering to some of our queries on living with children...please note I do not say "bringing up children"! I have just learnt that the easiest thing we do is damage them and we actually know very little about bringing them up these days!

We learnt that a child with greater self respect seldom would have the need to throw a tantrum. A child whose self esteem has been severely eroded would get into a rage more often. So we turned the light on into our own lives and each time a child appeared off colour, we took time off to bring ourselves to the level of the child's thinking and tried to get to the root of the hurt the child had by remaining neutral, empathetic and focusing on what the child is experiencing rather than on the words the child had used, or the behaviour he/she had exhibited...invariably it lead to the root of the problem, namely that the child did not feel good about herself/himself! We have been trying to make the kids raise their self respect levels and it is opening up new vistas that I have never seen before. There is more light in their eyes now, more spirit in their strides.

The youngest has picked up so many cross discplinary information across the ages from 2-15, its amazing to watch him grow!

A child who used to be scared of adults who "scolded" could today tell me about an encounter she had in the evening with a lady who was cross with her and her friends. She said, "I think maa, she must have felt hurt inside about something and wasn't feeling so good about herself. Maybe if she were happier with herself she wont be so cranky. Poor thing! I am not scared of such things now."!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Th same child is so inclined towards expressing artistically that every activity of hers needs to be filled with artful expressions. She spent more time making a book and decorating the title than to write a story which she had declared was all she felt like doing today as a language exercise. But she could afford to do this without being censored and hence has been able to all the while enhance her artistic abilities.

There is another child who can absorb all things like a blotting paper. She however hates to write anything as she probably got ticked off for her bad handwriting previously both by us and her school teachers...Allowing her to find her own depths in writing legibly and not forcing her to write when she did not feel like it has resulted in a better handwriting now.

A child who kept her hurts to herself but would show it out as a physical ailment is now able to face and accept that she is hurting and feels less "sicker" these days. She is having great fun doing all things she enjoys most.

The oldest child who has just come out of the stress of working for his tenth exams has not given any serious attention to his books for the past three weeks now. We dont any more worry about it. Noting that we are not turning on the heat on him, he has been devoting all his time to learning to play the casio, reading books about "mind power" and cycling. The difference is in the pure joy I see in his smile these days and the confidence he exudes when he interacts with people. We do not "pamper". We discuss with each other the pros and cons and leave the decision to him. The fact that we trust him keeps him happy and though he is trodding on what may look like a risky path, he is actually garnering his inner strength to face anything in life.

More than anything we adults have finally realised taht we too need to grow up and shed a few baggages we have collected without noticing. We are more open, more fearless, calmer, yet more ready for a joke than before...thanks to the children. God bless them!

I wish to add that all the milestones I have cited above have not been reached easily. The self doubts we had amongst ourselves, the blunders we would inadvertently make have all been there in full measure. But the will to persevere is strong and the results are egging us on. So long!